You Have to Let Go
by AngelOfPride
Summary: After Hughes' death, everything begins to slowly go back to normal...except Roy Mustang. Unfortunately for Hawkeye, she's the only one who can see this- and she's evermore determined for him to let her in and share the burden. But Roy's always been a stubborn man...then again, Riza's a stubborn woman. Just a comforting little cute story :) Hope you enjoy!


Riza Hawkeye stood outside her superior's office door, staring at the polished wood with a frown at 11:30pm.

Maybe this was a bad time. But then again- she couldn't see a _good _time coming up for quite some time. Like everybody, she missed Lt. Colonel Hughes, more than she'd dare admit- but Mustang...it pained her to think how he must be feeling. It was difficult to see really; his dark eyes still held their composure, his voice still clutched at the proud authority he had seemingly been blessed with. But Riza, she knew him too well. Part of her longed to be taken in by the performance, to accept it as truth- but it wasn't, and she could tell.

The woman took a long breath. _'There's no use procrastinating. There's work to be done'_ she told herself firmly. Swallowing her doubt, she raised a hand, and knocked against the wood three times.

There was silence for a while, and she blinked patiently. Still silence. Maybe she wouldn't have to go through this.  
>"Come in..."<br>Crap.  
>Riza took the cold, gold painted metal handle in her palm and quietly swung the door open.<p>

Inside Mustang's office, it was cold- she felt it like the barrel of a gun against her exposed neck.  
>As she focused her attention on the desk, she held in a gasp of surprise. Roy Mustang, holding his face in his hand, gloved fingers gripping his jet black hair. Riza noted his tensed jaw, the ever deepening crease in his brow. Papers littered the floor, the desk, the walls...<p>

"Colonel..." she whispered, eyes wide.

"What is it Hawkeye?" he grunted, not raising his gaze. She'd give anything to see those eyes looking back at her...

"Urm..." She coughed, trying to collect her thoughts, "Havoc has received a report from central he'd like you to examine."

"Is it urgent?"  
>"What?"<br>"Answer the question."  
>Riza winced slightly at the dismissing tone, "...No...No sir- not that I could see."<br>A moment of silence, then, "I'll deal with it later."

Riza bit her tongue to hold back a sigh, but there was no choice now. She couldn't bare seeing this man so broken...Not him...

She closed the door behind her, but she didn't leave.

For around a minute, she stood there silently, and began to wonder if he'd realised she was still here.

…

"Something else Lieutenant?"

No. There was no paperwork for him. No other reports. No emergency calls or suspicious occurrences. Nothing.  
>"Yes Colonel."<p>

She held her breath until she heard a sigh escape his lips, and he finally looked up from his work, "What?" he grumbled.

Riza narrowed her eyes, "Sir, you're exhausted. You've been in this room for almost two days straight now- it's unhealthy."  
>"When did you become my personal trainer Lieutenant?"<p>

His voice was dripping with sarcasm, and she felt his words scathe her like boiling water. Typical. Screw gunshots and knife wounds- one cold comment from her superior and she was on the verge of tears.

"Roy." she said firmly. Aha! That caught his attention.

She chose her next words carefully, scuffling her foot a little, "I...understand, that Lt. Colonel Hughes' death was a heavy blow, but-"  
>Fists slammed down onto the desk. Papers flew before fluttering to the floor.<p>

"You have _NO IDEA _how this feels!" Roy burst, eyes blazing with fury and glittering with tears, "It's like being burned from the inside! I can't feel anything but I can't stop feeling!"  
>Riza stared at him wide-eyed, but she let him continue to blast his words of fire against her trembling shield. He needed this. He needed to let go.<br>"It's _killing_ me Riza! I want to fucking die!"

Down goes the shield. Tears filled her own eyes as she watched the broken man slump back into his seat, shoulders shaking with rage and grief, head drooping in his hands again as sobs racked though his broad body like shocks of electricity.

Once she was sure he'd run out of energy to scream at her again, she tentatively stepped towards him, standing behind his chair and gripping the back in her hands. She bit back a sob, teeth digging into her tongue painfully, her fingers embedding themselves in the shining black leather. She waited until she was certain that she could control herself, before she relaxed her grip, and ran her hands up his blue-clad back, resting them on his tense, shuddering shoulders.

"You're right..." she whispered, tears falling from her face and onto his navy coloured coat, "I'm sorry..."  
>A small seed of hope began to grow inside the Lieutenant as she felt Roy's hand slowly reach up and settle on one of her own.<p>

"No, I'm sorry..." he rasped, and she swallowed another sob at the weakness of his tone, "That was unprofessional..."

"No!" Riza scolded, shaking her head firmly, "God dammit Roy, you're only human!We all are..."  
>She heard his gruff grunt of dry amusement, "If only Hughes had realised that..."<br>He twisted his head to look back at her, his hollow black eyes piercing her chestnut ones, tears running down his face. She'd never caught him in such a moment. His guard was down. He looked so vulnerable...so small...

"I miss him Riza..."

"I do too." she assured him gently, massaging his shoulder with her free hand.

They were quiet like that a minute or so- tearful eyes locked on one another, afraid to return to reality. It was their own world, and Riza longed for it to push into the reality, so that she could comfort him whenever he needed, not just once in a blue moon when she caught him off guard. She wanted him to let her in, to trust her. To love her.

But something clicked there. She saw her own feelings reflected back at her.

"Sir..."  
>"Yes?"<br>"Would you consider this a bad time if-"

"No."  
>"Would it be unprofessional for-"<p>

"No."

"Would you be upset if I-"

His lips against hers stopped her from continuing. Her eyes widened momentarily, before she released all doubt and thought and kissed him back, feeling the thin fabric of his glove as he caressed the side of her face.

Part of her felt awful- for distracting him from grieving for his friend. But part of her knew that Hughes wouldn't give a shit. He'd probably be edging them on for a kid so he and Roy could obsess over family photos together! That was just Hughes- selfless, positive.

As she pulled away silently, feeling Roy's muscled back relax against her hold, she smiled lightly.

_'Thankyou Maes Hughes...for helping him to let me in...'_

**A/N: So I actually only started watching Fullmetal Alchemist the other day- and I am OBSESSED! I adore Mustang and Hawkeye together, and Hughes death had me in hysteric tears. So, why not combine the two xD hope you enjoyed it! As always, please fav and follow!**


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